My Bytch Blog

Yesterday, on my way to school,  I got stuck in traffic. You see a lot of strange stuff when you're stuck in traffic. I saw a guy pick his nose and eat what he got out...ewww.  Sorry to say that I was a little thankful to see him do that because I am trying to lose some weight and he definitely stopped any food cravings I was having at the time.  I saw someone that looked like they were having an argument on the phone but the strangest thing I saw was Jesus. Ok not the real Jesus, I don't think, but some guy that sure did look like all those religious paintings of Jesus. He was in a Land Rover behind me. As if that was not strange enough, His license plate started with 666. Cracked me up...as I was pondering the title of my next blog, as Jesus in Satan's Land Rover, I saw the guy light up a fatty. Whooo really? Yes. So now I'm watching this guy that looks like Jesus in a Land Rover that Satan probably owns smoking a fatty. As if that wasn't enough (you can't ma...

First of all I want to apologize to my five readers for being absent but life is crazy.  I have been taking my real estate classes and have been busy studying. It has taken up my whole life but with this Memorial Day weekend I have a little more time. Today I spent the day with my son on his last day of school; and like most last day of school activities there were a lot of parents. Some were there to be supportive in the silly activities that were set up (like myself), other were parents there purely to get as many pictures as possible to make the best scrapbook and others, still, were there to just talk to other parents.   As we moved from activity to activity I would catch bits and pieces of the conversation at hand. None of it was very interesting but something did catch my ears...the moms started talking about what they do and don't let their children (this is third grade) watch on television and movies. The debate of PG vs. PG-13 started, well I wouldn't really call...

Thursday I had an appointment with a doctor that I had never seen before. It all started boring enough...walk in, fill out paperwork, give them the insurance card and then sit down and wait to be called. Seems simple enough. Thursday happened to be a particular beautiful day. The sun was shinning and the weather was perfect, not to hot and not to cold. As I sat in the waiting room, playing cards on my phone, I realized a small buzzing sound coming from the yellow fluorescent light in the lamp beside me. I wondered why all of the blinds where shut down tight when the day was so wonderful and surely the sunlight was a lot better then these artificial lamps. That's when my light bulb turned on. I looked around and realized that I was in Death's waiting room. Yes. I was about 30 to 40 years younger than everyone in the office, staff included. Now I have been struggling with turning 40 years old and have begun to panic a little realizing that I am now middle aged. How the hell did ...

Don't you just hate it when your smoke alarm battery is running low and you get that annoying chirping sound? Try that crap at 2:45 in the freakin' morning! Aaahhhh!!! That happened the other day. So I asked my wonderful hubby to change the battery. I had moved to the sofa that night cause I could not take the noise. My sofa is big and fluffy and hurts like hell to sleep on. Oh and I'm a tosser when I sleep. Try that on a sofa. Hello floor.  So, the next night I went to bed excited to get some sleep in own bedroom. Then 2:30am CHIRP! WTF! Now, I love my hubby but I yanked him out a deep sleep to ask if he did indeed change the battery. He told me that he ran out of time to do it and forgot. Dammit. There I went again with my pillows and a blanket to the sofa. Another awful night of sleep. He did change the battery the next day since I nagged him until he couldn't take it anymore. Finally I was able to get some sleep in my own bed and stopped being so grouchy. Every...

Friday my hubby and I got up early, took the kids to school and went for a Venti Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks. It was awesome. Usually I don't get to spend alone time with him until the weekend and even then the kids are home. We decided to go to ToysRUs to get some fun stuff for our son's Easter basket. Unfortunately, they opened at 9:30 and it was only nine. Now right about now you're probably thinking Why the hell do I care about this? Just indulge me for a minute I do have a point, of sorts. So as we were waiting in the car for ToysRUs to open, we saw many, many cars pull up and also wait for this store to open. My hubby and I were totally surprised that there were that many people waiting at 9:30 in the morning to buy toys. As the manager opened the door, letting the small crowd that had formed in to the store,  we noticed seven yes seven (7) cars zoom into the parking lot and park. I was in shock. Was there a sale that was going on that I didn't know about? H...

Here lately I feel like I am marking time. Standing still just waiting for my life to hurry up and start. I know that is the worst way to view my situation but it's what I feel. I start my real estate classes in the middle of next month and until that time I am just waiting. I know that I should be using my time wisely and getting all the stuff done that I need to do before I get too busy and that's why I have been exercising. I am, again, trying to lose weight and get healthy after my bout of flu. I have been working out and trying to get more movement into my day but I am having a problem with my sweet tooth. It seems that every time I eat "clean" (organic) I end up having this terrible sweet tooth. Then when I indulge in sweets, I get sick. I feel strange. My eyes feel like there is air being blown in them and I feel a definite mood change. What the hell? I feel sometimes like I am falling apart. I am looking forward to May when I see a doctor that specializes in ...

Hello my five readers I have missed you. I have been violently ill with the flu for the past two weeks and was obviously unable to write down my deepest thoughts for you to enjoy. After these two weeks I have come to the terrible realization that I have never had the flu before. I thought I had but these past two weeks have made any sickness I have had in the past look like a simple 24 hour bug. Of course I am the only one in the family that did not get a flu shot. Yes, you read that right. I had heard that this year's flu was a mean strain and so I bullied my whole family into getting one. I even got my son to get his flu shot and was there to catch him as he fainted dead away on the floor. I felt bad about that, of course, but I felt some since of relief knowing I did what was best for him. As most mother's know, it's hard to find time for yourself and that's where I fell through the cracks. I meant to get my shot but as usual I put myself low on the priority list an...